10 Hacks To Keep Your Life In Balance (The Skinny Confidential x Sweat and Tell)
10 Hacks To Keep Your Life In Balance
Hi Sweat & Tell community!
I’m Lauryn Evarts Bosstick, the creator of the blog, book, podcast The Skinny Confidential. I’m so happy to be collaborating with Jo & Jacqs- they’re on The Skinny Confidential talking all about how to follow your dreams & not care what other people think. A subject right up my alley. Be sure to check it out after you read this post. Anyway...
How do you balance it all?
It’s a question that I get asked a lot, but it’s also a question that I like to ask other moms, entrepreneurs & professionals. We need all the help we can get when it comes to time management, productivity, spending time with our families & BALANCING it all.
You may have heard all about time-batching, the beloved time-cube & LIVING for a color-coded Google cal, but throw a baby into the mix & you kinda need to go back to the drawing board to be even more efficient with your time.
Michael, & I welcomed our daughter Zaza Bosstick into the world in January, & it’s the best thing EVER, BUT it takes some adjusting.
BIG TIME LOL.
Today we’re going to be discussing hacks for working parents so I thought it might be helpful to share our average daily schedule to really paint the picture?
It’s important for me to say this though:
I’m not going to pretend to have it all together. Most of the past year has been spent in my pajamas, with unwashed, ratty hair, eyebrows looking not so hot, chipped nails & milk stains all over me. BUT !!!......Despite all that, the baby sleeps, the house is clean & I get work done. SO I do have a few tips & hacks up my sleeve for new parents that can help them keep it semi-together.
(I’d also like to throw it out there that I’m lucky to be able to have help. A nanny a few days a week was essential because I had no maternity leave. Anyway, here are some hacks that have really worked for me while allowing me to work on my business, spend time with family, & still practice self-care).
♡ Hiring Help
As I said above, I’m very fortunate to be able to have help. For the first 4 months of Zaza’s life we had a night nurse. This really helped with sleep. My husband & I both have businesses to run so this was something that we decided to invest in. I know that this isn’t for everyone, but it really helped with our sleep & that’s where a lot of new parent stress comes from. Things are harder when you don’t have proper rest.
Now if I have to run out for any reason, I have the nanny come over for a few hours. This could mean that I’m going to a meeting, recording podcasts, or going to get a facial ( self-care is important !). When I have time to sit, concentrate & work I’m much more effective & efficient in all areas in my life.
I think a lot of parents want to or try to be with their kids all day, but that’s really hard when you don’t have a break. As I said above, taking time for yourself is VITAL. Sometimes the nanny comes over just so I can go get my nails done or go for a spray tan. There’s no shame in my game. Time to myself is KEY.
Our nanny speaks English as well as another language, & I think that’s really good for Zaza. They hang out, read books & play- Zaza loves her.
♡ Spend Money on Your Time.
This kind of ties in with getting help, but spending money on my time is BIG. Even before becoming a mom. Using things like Uber, Postmates, getting my makeup done, & going for a blowout all free up time for me to either concentrate on work or spend QUALITY time with my daughter.
For instance, if I take an Uber I can answer emails or take a call in the back of the car opposed to driving myself. While I have my makeup done I can be on a work call or return DMs. LIKE if any of those things can buy me an extra 30 minutes with my daughter, I’m all about it.
♡ Create Space to be Present With Your Kid
I’m the type of person who doesn’t want to be half in for anything. I want to be fully in, present. When it comes to my baby, I’d rather be 100% with her when I’m with her, opposed to being distracted by my phone or work & not fully concentrating on her.
Every morning I schedule time with her. Yup. She is scheduled in my calendar. I live & die by my Google calendar ( which we’ll get to ) but this helps me be totally focussed on the time that I have with her & this block in my calendar is non-negotiable.
My husband will usually go grab her when she wakes up around 7 AM, & then he brings her into the room. We open the shades so she knows it’s time to start the day. We stay in bed & just hang out. The meditation music is playing, the fountain is on ( she loves the sound of water ), & we read books or watch Housewives ( Mommy’s cartoons ).
Sometimes we’ll watch a Disney movie or I do facial massage with oils ( LOL), feed her, change her & we just get ready for the day. During our morning time I don’t ever pick up my phone unless it’s to turn on music or a podcast ( check out Zaza's favorite playlist here ). Sometimes I’ll read a book next to her while she plays, but other than that I’m totally present.
So in saying that I’m totally present with her, I also find things to do WITH her. For instance there’s this hack that’s really been working for us that lets me get some stuff done & also fit a workout in. What I do is lay Zaza down on my yoga mat with her toys & she has tummy time. While she does this I lay next to her & do a The Skinny Confidential BODY App workout or Skype Pilates. This has been a WIN because she sees me moving my body every day so she knows what to expect. This way I’m spending time with her but also fitting in some exercise.
♡ Color-code your calendar.
My color-coded calendar is something I live & die by. In fact, I’ve even hired someone to be a practitioner of my calendar. EVERYTHING is scheduled: Workouts, Zaza’s nap times, work calls, time to write & be creative, reading time, thinking time, EVEN driving time. Yes !! I DO FUCKING schedule the time it’ll take to get somewhere.
So while Zaza naps ( around 10 am ), I make myself a matcha or a iced coffee, catch up on emails, take calls, & if I’m lucky ( which I am about 4 times a week ).
By the time Zaza has woken up I’ve crossed some things off my to-do list, answered some emails, written out thoughts for the day & gotten some breathwork in. Sometimes I’ll take a phone call while I feed her, or I’ll put her in her weird, creepy walker she hangs out if I need to finish something up. It’s important to me that she’s an independent baby, so I make it a point not to fawn over her all day, every day. She knows we have time together in the morning & at night.
Right around now, is when the nanny would come over if needed. I’ll go do whatever I need to do, whether that’s an appointment or recording a podcast. I’ll usually get home in time to put Zaza down for her 4:30 PM nap & it gives me time to wrap up the day. Things like finishing up an Instagram post or story, having a quick sprint meeting with my team, or maybe answering a few DMs.
She usually gets up at around 5:15 PM which is when I’m present with her again because her bedtime is 7:30 PM. Sometimes we go up to the roof to hang out & play or read, or I’ll put her in this little pink puff situation where she chills if I still have to finish up some emails.
Around 6:30 PM we go downstairs & I set up her whole spa situation. LOL. I turn on music, the salt rock lamp, run a bubble bath, dim the lights, & just make her whole bathtime very zen. We just completely focus on her with massage & playtime & it gets her really sleepy. She’ll usually want to eat after her bath so I feed her in my bed & sometimes she falls asleep on me- which I’m OBSESSED with. It’s the best. We snuggle for a little bit before I put her in her crib.
Usually around 8-10 PM I’ll have something to eat, clean the house, work on my phone, listen to a book, have a cocktail ( because !!!), hang with my husband & just relax.
So basically, all of that is in my calendar. Does the day always go to plan, down to the minute? No fucking way. But at least it’s all laid out so I can see what I’m aiming for. My calendar is so gnarly & dialed in but it creates space for me. It helps me relax when I have my time with my daughter. I know that that time is blocked so it helps me relax & enjoy time with her, without thinking about other things that are going on. I know that time is there for her.
♡ Choose an amazing partner.
My husband, Michael, is really hands on. He picks up a lot of the parenting workload which I’ve heard from other mothers isn’t always the case. He has no qualms about doing whatever needs to be done to help the baby. No matter what. He reminds me of Miss Clavel from Madeline- he hops out of bed the second Zaza cries- which is amazing for me & my beauty sleep. HA !
When you’re looking for a partner or someone to have kids with, you aren’t settling. Don’t settle for anything but the best. I knew I wanted someone who would be a hands on dad. I’m a dominant entrepreneur & I always knew I’d want to keep that going. Michael has always understood this & supports that I don’t want my identity lost. If he wasn’t the kind of person that he is, we’d most likely have problems in our relationship.
♡ Breathwork
The Wim Hof breathing method totally changed my postpartum experience.
Wim Hof was introduced to me by 2 of my favorite people: Tim Ferriss & Ryan Holiday. He's known as The Iceman & has set many Guinness World Records for, well, basically, being an Iceman.
His body can withstand super cold temperatures & he is the definition of an extreme athlete. He was on the HIM & HER podcast not too long ago too.
Wim has run marathons barefoot & shirtless near the Arctic Circle, he's swam under the ice at the North Pole & has sat in ice baths for 1.5 hours. He says what got him through these accomplishments was his breathing practice.
As my research into Wim went on, I found out that his wife had committed suicide after a long depression & Wim had developed this meditation to help people live happier, healthier, stronger lives. What he ended up with is a method that has amazing benefits.
Oh, & Gwyneth Paltrow is a big fan too. So much so, that Wim is featured on episode 2 of The Goop Lab on Netflix.
Anyway, let's get right into it...
How To Do The Wim Hof Method:
First, find a comfortable place to sit. Lately my favorite places have been somewhere in nature or in front of the Joovv red light. So sit down, relax, & follow Wim's method on YouTube which is about 10 minutes long.
What you do is take 30 quick, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose & exhaling through your mouth. Then you take another deep breath, & exhale for as long as you can until you need to take a breath again. Inhale again, hold it for 10 seconds & repeat.
It might sound confusing but check out his video for specifics. It's super easy to follow when you do it with him & seriously, it's been LIFE-CHANGING for me.
♡ Freezing Cold Showers
Here's the real cherry on top...the second you're done with the breathwork, hop into a freezing fucking cold shower for 3 minutes. Personally, I like to listen to The Daily Stoic podcast by Ryan Holiday while I do this because most of the episodes are 2-4 minutes long.
So set your alarm for 3 minutes & scrape your tongue, dry brush ( but it's not dry cause it's in the shower LOL ), & wash with the best ever Nécessaire eucalyptus body wash.
Afterwards you will immediately feel rejuvenated from the breathwork & the cold shower. Wim recommends doing the cold shower RIGHT after the breathwork.
♡ Grounding
Getting outside, taking walks & immersing yourself in nature is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
My husband, dogs & I would take the baby out in the stroller ( with a huge cup of water, ice, lemon & cayenne of course ) & just stroll. It was so nice to get my body moving every morning.
Another great thing to do is grounding. Sure, it’s kinda like walking, but you have to be barefoot. Bear with me...
Grounding, or 'earthing,' whatever you want to call it, has absolutely changed the game for me.
First, let's start off with this question: when was the last time you let your bare feet touch the actual earth? Not your marble or hardwood floor, or your carpet. I'm not even talking about your balcony. The actual earth- the grass, the sand, the beach. 99% of people can't even remember.
Basically the grounding theory is that our body is supposed to have contact with the earth as much as possible ( like with no shoes ). Electrons in free radical form ( yuck- from wifi ) accumulate in us & direct contact with the earth balances this out with the opposite effect. Back in the day this would happen naturally because we weren't wearing shoes...now we need to make it happen... But let's dive deep.
Let's get sciencey:
So essentially, it's allowing your skin to touch the ions of the earth. My absolute favorite way to do this is by putting my feet in the sand. You should know that I even do this with my daughter. I'll take her little feet & hands and make sure they touch the earth as often as I can.
How To Ground:
♡ Go outside & get your feet in some grass, sand or dirt.
♡ You can even use the ceramic tile or concrete floor in your basement if you have one. There just shouldn't be any kind of material between it & your feet ( ex. carpet, hardwood, etc. ).
♡ Earthing sheet. "Every house has a network of grounding wires that connects the electrical source to the ground. This helps complete the circuit using the ground instead of your body, so you can touch your TVs and blenders and whatnot without getting a zap.
An earthing sheet plugs into a normal outlet and connects to the grounding wires in your home’s wiring (not the electrical source, so don’t worry about plugging in all night). Since it conducts energy all the way into the ground, you can get in a full night of earthing in without sleeping in the grass. It’s usually made of cotton and fine silver thread for conductivity, so the sheet will deliver negative electrons from the earth to your body and neutralize the positive charges." ( via )
♡ Earthing shoes actually exist. They are shoes that have some kind of conductive material built into them so you can ground all day while you get your steps in. In fact, it seems like there are a lot of moccasin style shoes that are 'earthing' out there.
Just remember, these are special shoes & if there's rubber on your shoes, that means they are NOT grounding you.
♡ Grounding mat. This would be a great thing to use while you work to kind of cancel out the electromagnetic field from your computer, phone, or tablet. You can even get grounding mats for your bed so you can get all the benefits while you sleep. Speaking of benefits, let's get into it.
Benefits of Grounding or Earthing. ( There are a ton !! ):
♡ Regulates cortisol.
Cortisol is your body's stress hormone & I'm all about lowering it. You may have heard me talk about this 1 or 50 times. When your cortisol is regulated it means that a stressful situation won't affect you as long. You can recover easily & not feel anxiety for too long after.
♡ Gets rid of free radicals.
You've probably heard all about free radicals before & how antioxidants neutralize them. Well, grounding also neutralizes them which means they won't be around to damage the cells in our body.
♡ No more fight-or-flight.
Grounding helps your body go from the stressed out fight-or-flight feeling to a more restorative state.
More benefits....
♡ Reduces inflammation.
♡ Improves sleep.
♡ Improves immunity.
♡ Reduces some factors of cardiovascular disease.
♡ Reduces pain.
♡ Speeds healing time.
♡ Helps with period cramps.
♡ Reduces electric fields induced on the body.
♡ Improves glucose regulation.
♡ Reduces indicators of osteoporosis.
♡ Reduces anxiety & depression.
♡ Supports adrenal health.
♡ & like I said, can really cure a hangover.
The only technique I've ever tried is putting my bare feet on the ground- the beach is my favorite. But I'd love to try a grounding mat soon.
Trust me & just try it. You’ll feel better. Plus, it’s the best hangover cure.
♡ Red Light Therapy & Red Lightbulbs
Red light therapy is totally part of my life & I do it all the time. I wake up & do it for 10 minutes while I do the breathwork ( see above ). So let’s get into the benefits of red light therapy & how to do it.
What are the benefits of red light therapy?
♡ safe & well-tolerated.
♡ reduces inflammation.
♡ less muscle pain & exercise soreness.
♡ natural pain relief treatment.
♡ helps with arthritis & joint pain.
♡ helps wound & burn healing.
♡ can boost your mood & lower depression.
♡ helps with bone & tissue injuries. { via }
( Also want to mention it's helped people with the appearance of hyperpigmentation. Goodbye brown mustache !! I need all the help I can get. But seriously, it's also shown positive results for people with vitiligo, eczema & psoriasis. )
Michael, my husband, has a big Joovv red light panel in his office. It’s big, it works, it gets the job done. As I said, I’ll stand in front of this for 10 minutes a day, and then at night we use red light bulbs.
Yup, red light bulbs, that you can buy on Amazon, to help us wind down at night. They really create this peaceful vibe in the bedroom & lower your cortisol ( the stress hormone ) before you go to sleep. It really has been life changing.
So why red light therapy?
Our cells need natural light to function, just like they need water & nutrients from food. Unfortunately, most people don’t get as much natural light as they need for optimal health ( the average American spends over 90% of their time indoors ). Red light therapy allows you to supplement the light you get from your environment with concentrated wavelengths of red & near infrared light at home.
Red light therapy works by enhancing your energy production at a cellular level. Healthy, natural light stimulates the mitochondria, the powerhouse of the cell, & enhances the cellular respiration process that makes ATP ( adenosine triphosphate ) energy. Humans make ATP every day, & it fuels everything we do. The more energy our cells can make, the better our bodies look, heal, feel, & perform. { via }
The big Joovv panels are an investment ( but Michael & I both think it’s so worth it ). Aside from all the benefits of red light therapy, it’s just sets a relaxing, peaceful situation. Isn’t that just what you need postpartum?
♡ The Ivy Lee Method
THIS is a method that I’ve kinda been doing for as long as I can remember. I feel like it’s really helped me grow my business, & it’s also helped me turn my house into a home, helped with wedding planning & even helped aspects of my personal life.
You should know that this method is one you’re supposed to do at night ( my husband does it at night so he can sleep on it ), but I do it in the morning. Either way works, it just depends on what type of person you are. Michael is a super early riser so that works better for him.
Ok so, here's the story: { via }
By 1918, Charles M. Schwab was one of the richest men in the world.
Schwab was the president of the Bethlehem Steel Corporation, the largest shipbuilder and the second-largest steel producer in America at the time. The famous inventor Thomas Edison once referred to Schwab as the “master hustler.” He was constantly seeking an edge over the competition.
One day in 1918, in his quest to increase the efficiency of his team and discover better ways to get things done, Schwab arranged a meeting with a highly-respected productivity consultant named Ivy Lee.
Lee was a successful businessman in his own right and is widely remembered as a pioneer in the field of public relations. As the story goes, Schwab brought Lee into his office and said, “Show me a way to get more things done.”
“Give me 15 minutes with each of your executives,” Lee replied.
“How much will it cost me,” Schwab asked.
“Nothing,” Lee said. “Unless it works. After three months, you can send me a check for whatever you feel it's worth to you.”
During his 15 minutes with each executive, Ivy Lee explained his simple daily routine for achieving peak productivity:
At the end of each work day, write down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow. Do not write down more than six tasks.
Prioritize those six items in order of their true importance.
When you arrive tomorrow, concentrate only on the first task. Work until the first task is finished before moving on to the second task.
Approach the rest of your list in the same fashion. At the end of the day, move any unfinished items to a new list of six tasks for the following day.
Repeat this process every working day.
The strategy sounded simple, but Schwab and his executive team at Bethlehem Steel gave it a try. After three months, Schwab was so delighted with the progress his company had made that he called Lee into his office and wrote him a check for $25,000.
A $25,000 check written in 1918 is the equivalent of a $400,000 check in 2015.
That's in 1918, guys!
The benefit of The Ivy Lee Method is kind of like time-blocking. You focus on one task ( if you haven’t tried time-blocking, get on board ), & it allows you to focus on your priorities so you don’t get caught up in the riff raff.
I write down my 6 tasks in a cute notebook & with my favorite pen so it’s like a ‘thing.’
Anyway, these are other major benefits of The Ivy Lee Method:
♡ It's simple, so it actually works. All you need is paper & a pen.
♡ Makes you prioritize. 6 is the magic number here. Don't overwhelm yourself with 20 tasks- only write down 6.
♡ Takes the guesswork out of 'starting.' How much time do you waste 'thinking' about what you should do first? When you have a prioritized list, it's clearly laid out in front of you.
♡ It makes you SINGLE-TASK. You guys know I'm all about multitasking, but focussing energy on one thing at a time is also hugely important.
♡ It can encourage a healthier work-life balance. As an entrepreneur this can be really tricky so anything that helps is welcome to be honest.
To sum it up, this productivity hack helps with concentration, productivity, keeps you organized, & allows your brain to marinate on what you’ve done.
I’m not trying to be Supermom here, I’m just trying to be as productive & present as possible. I’m sure this will change as my daughter gets older, but this is just what works for us right now so I thought I’d share. I heard that when kids get older & start walking it’s a real clusterfuck. LOL. Anyway, we’ll see how that goes.
I hope you guys enjoyed these little tips for balancing parenthood & running a business & trying to have a life. I've said before that I was not the most maternal person, so having Zaza really is a whole new chapter. It’s been fun to navigate because I had no idea what to expect & didn’t read any books. My advice would be to use your intuition as a guide. These things might not work for everyone, but they work for me & I’m so happy to share them with you.
Thank you to the whole Sweat & Tell community for having me!
xx,
Lauryn Evarts Bosstick, The Skinny Confidential
